Pre-Marriage Counseling

Pre-Marriage Counseling

Ever wonder what you and your fiance will talk about in pre-marriage counseling? It will vary based on the pastor or officiant you work with. Some pastors use personality inventories, others might have you read a book and then discuss it together with you, while others might have a list of discussion points you will converse about over a series of meetings. Topics covered in any pre-marriage session might include, but are not limited to:

  1. Communication – do you feel heard by each other? Do you feel comfortable sharing feelings with each other?
  2. Conflict resolution – Do you have the ability to solve problems and come to mutually agreed-upon solutions?
  3. Values, Religion, Spirituality – Does each partner understand and support the other partner’s core values, religious understandings and spiritual practice?
  4. Children – do both partners want to have children? If so, how many? How will they be guided?
  5. Family of origin and friends – Do you get along with one another’s family of origin? What traits of your family of origin do you want to bring into your marriage?
  6. Leisure, Relaxation, Interests – what  activities do you enjoy for relaxation and which of those do you want to share with your partner? Which do you want to continue to enjoy by yourself?
  7. Finances – What resources do each of you bring into a marriage?  How are those resources going to be used?  Have you agreed on a budget?
  8. Marriage expectations – What expectations do you bring into this marriage? How realistic or unrealistic are these expectations?
  9. Sexuality – Do you understand your partners sexual needs and desires?  Are you able to communicate openly about your intimacy?

This is just a sample of topics you might talk about when it is time for your pre-marriage counseling. Take time to get your life together off to a healthy start and don’t forget to plan your pre-marriage counseling sessions with your pastor or counselor. If you don’t currently have a church home, I’d love to help you plan your wedding and guide you through your time of pre-marriage counseling.

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