Ever wonder what you and your fiance will talk about in pre-marriage counseling? It will vary based on the pastor or officiant you work with. Some pastors use personality inventories, others might have you read a book and then discuss it together with you, while others might have a list of discussion points you will converse about over a series of meetings. Topics covered in any pre-marriage session might include, but are not limited to:
- Communication – do you feel heard by each other? Do you feel comfortable sharing feelings with each other?
- Conflict resolution – Do you have the ability to solve problems and come to mutually agreed-upon solutions?
- Values, Religion, Spirituality – Does each partner understand and support the other partner’s core values, religious understandings and spiritual practice?
- Children – do both partners want to have children? If so, how many? How will they be guided?
- Family of origin and friends – Do you get along with one another’s family of origin? What traits of your family of origin do you want to bring into your marriage?
- Leisure, Relaxation, Interests – what activities do you enjoy for relaxation and which of those do you want to share with your partner? Which do you want to continue to enjoy by yourself?
- Finances – What resources do each of you bring into a marriage? How are those resources going to be used? Have you agreed on a budget?
- Marriage expectations – What expectations do you bring into this marriage? How realistic or unrealistic are these expectations?
- Sexuality – Do you understand your partners sexual needs and desires? Are you able to communicate openly about your intimacy?
This is just a sample of topics you might talk about when it is time for your pre-marriage counseling. Take time to get your life together off to a healthy start and don’t forget to plan your pre-marriage counseling sessions with your pastor or counselor. If you don’t currently have a church home, I’d love to help you plan your wedding and guide you through your time of pre-marriage counseling.